Six weeks in, and I feel like I'm breaking down. There was some apartment drama that went down but it seems like it been progressing toward being better. Who knows though, right. Friday starts Spring Break for us and everyone will be going away for the week so we'll have to see how it all pans out.
I didn't really leave the apartment this weekend. I have a lot of school stuff to do for midterms week and also I've been really depressed lately. It's been to the point where I don't want to get out of bed or leave the apartment at all. It kind of feels like when I just got here but worse. I can't really explain it. It's like I don't have the energy anymore to go out and do things, even if it's just going to walk around downtown. I don't really know what's wrong and that bothers me too. If I keep feeling like this, I might change my spring break plans. I'll still go places but I might have to do it by myself. Sometimes that's all it takes, just me to be by myself and recollect myself. My mom told me that she was actually going to come out here for my spring break but when I told her what my plans were, she decided to just split the money between my sister and I. I told her I could change my plans and she could still come out here but she said it's fine and would rather me have a good time and experience here. I just don't know what to do. I can't get the help that I know I need here, all my friends are at home not here, and communication is kind of difficult because of the time difference and stuff. Plus, I'm also slightly sick again. It's just been a really difficult week and weekend and I just feel lost. There's no other way to explain it except for a lost type of feeling. I don't know what to do. Hopefully I can get it together and really enjoy spring break and everything else.
Other than all that, this weekend one housemate went to Rome for the weekend to visit a friend, one housemate left for the weekend with her boyfriend to the Almalfi coast, and the other two and myself were here all weekend. They went out and stuff but they didn't like go somewhere for the weekend. I still have studio hours I need to put in this week which is also going to be difficult. I kind of have an idea for sculpture but it changes every time I start to put it together. Hopefully I'll have a final project from it. I also was able to pack, yes PACK, some of my clothing away. I packed up the heacy sweaters that I don't ware and some shirts that I seriously have not worn since being here. It's actually kind of nice to be like 'hey, I can pack that away'.
I also found out that my dad is legit thinking about opening his own deli! I knew something was going on because he kept asking me if I had a job when I got back and he asked me if I considered working in a deli/bakery. I told him I would if they paid me more than minimum wage. Then I talked to my mom and she told me that my dad was really considering open a deli/bakery and would need counter help. If he actually gets it up and running by the time I get home, I will gladly go help my dad out. That's not a problem. All he had to do was ask I mean come on dad, really. Also it turns out that the day after I come home from Italy, a family friend is getting married! My mom told me not to worry about it and I didn't have to go because I'll be sleeping due to jet lag. I feel bad about not going to it but that's going to be tough. I'll really have to see how bad my jet lag it before I really do anything about it.
Non lo so
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