So, today is Christmas Eve and this years Christmas celebrations are totally different that ti really doesn't feel like Christmas. It hasn't snowed, I wasn't really able to get as many things for people as I wanted due to lack of money, and we're not going to my cousins for our big family Christmas this year. They're in the process of moving to Florida and a lot of their things are packed up. They didn't want to "half ass" Christmas this year so everyone is doing their own thing this year. It's a little weird not going to their house to celebrate but it's okay.
My sisters and I have a Christmas Eve tradition for the last, I'll say 5 years. Danielle and Jessica usually come to our house, we wrap what's left of presents, play monopoly or some board game, and then at midnight we all go to Denny's in matching pajamas. Is it dorky? Fuck yeah it is but who cares? It's our tradition and we plan of keeping it that way. This year though, we're going to their house, exchanging gifts, playing some board game and then, of course, going to Denny's at midnight. Everything just feels a little off this year.
My visa appointment is Wednesday. I'm actually nervous about it but I think I'll be okay.
I would like to clear something up with some people though. I've been hearing a lot of "How's your boyfriend handling you going to Italy?" and stuff like that. Here's the deal, it's not about "handling" anything. He wants me to go and agrees that this is a great opportunity for me and that I need to do something for myself once in a while. Is it going to be tough not getting to see him or really talk to him a lot? Fuck yes it is but that doesn't mean we've stopped loving and caring for each other. Yeah it's going to be hard to have so much distance between us and everything that comes along with that but we still deeply care for one another and we both deeply love one another. If anything, I'm more worried about our relationship than he is but that doesn't mean we're going to run off with someone else or anything. It's just going to be difficult and we're going to make it work. So that's how WE'RE handling it.
Have a Merry Christmas!
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Nearly There
So the fall semester is almost over for me. I have 3 more finals in two days and then I get to go home! I'll be home for less than a month and then it's off to Florence for 4 months!
Danielle recently went through weight-loss surgery a little over a week ago and she's been doing pretty well so far. She's had quite a bit of pain but that's to be expected and even that seems to not be as bad now. As far as I know, she's already lost 20+ pounds. I'm so happy for her and proud of her. This is something that she really thought about for a long time and she'll finally be able to help correct some other underlying health conditions.
Rachel has VERY recently quit drinking! Monday she was a full day sober. I know how that sounds to everyone and honestly, I don't care. People have talked shit about my sister since I was 12 and I've taken a good amount of feedback and shit about her. I'm proud of my sister for coming to the decision to quit drinking. It'll definitely help her socially and mentally. Alcoholism runs deep on both sides of my family. I don't exactly know how much or how often she drank but it was obviously enough to have her come to this decision and I'm sure it wasn't made lightly. Regardless, I'm still proud that she came to this decision and my family has always been very supportive so there's no doubt that my family will help her with whatever she needs.
My boyfriend recently told me about this internship thing that RPI does. He said it's a co-op thing and that it would start in June and run through the fall semester. I think it's basically a short term job placement kind of deal. He'll get work experience and get paid which I know he worries about a lot. I don't exactly know how I feel about it. Well that's a lie, I do. I really want him to do it because I know it's a great opportunity for him. He needs the "real world" work experience and really, for him, getting paid is kind of a bonus. He worries that because he can't work while in school, financial burden falls on me. We're good at splitting whatever costs we have now (mostly who's got the bill for dinner, gas money, or the movies). He deserves to do this. I'm more worried about where he'll be placed and how often will we get to see each other. I don't know a lot about it because he's not even fully sure if he wants to do it.
Other than all that, nothing really to report. I have 3 more finals, finishing up things for Italy, and then before I know it, I'll be in a different country. I hope everyone is doing well and I wish everyone the best of luck in their endeavors.
Peace <3
Danielle recently went through weight-loss surgery a little over a week ago and she's been doing pretty well so far. She's had quite a bit of pain but that's to be expected and even that seems to not be as bad now. As far as I know, she's already lost 20+ pounds. I'm so happy for her and proud of her. This is something that she really thought about for a long time and she'll finally be able to help correct some other underlying health conditions.
Rachel has VERY recently quit drinking! Monday she was a full day sober. I know how that sounds to everyone and honestly, I don't care. People have talked shit about my sister since I was 12 and I've taken a good amount of feedback and shit about her. I'm proud of my sister for coming to the decision to quit drinking. It'll definitely help her socially and mentally. Alcoholism runs deep on both sides of my family. I don't exactly know how much or how often she drank but it was obviously enough to have her come to this decision and I'm sure it wasn't made lightly. Regardless, I'm still proud that she came to this decision and my family has always been very supportive so there's no doubt that my family will help her with whatever she needs.
My boyfriend recently told me about this internship thing that RPI does. He said it's a co-op thing and that it would start in June and run through the fall semester. I think it's basically a short term job placement kind of deal. He'll get work experience and get paid which I know he worries about a lot. I don't exactly know how I feel about it. Well that's a lie, I do. I really want him to do it because I know it's a great opportunity for him. He needs the "real world" work experience and really, for him, getting paid is kind of a bonus. He worries that because he can't work while in school, financial burden falls on me. We're good at splitting whatever costs we have now (mostly who's got the bill for dinner, gas money, or the movies). He deserves to do this. I'm more worried about where he'll be placed and how often will we get to see each other. I don't know a lot about it because he's not even fully sure if he wants to do it.
Other than all that, nothing really to report. I have 3 more finals, finishing up things for Italy, and then before I know it, I'll be in a different country. I hope everyone is doing well and I wish everyone the best of luck in their endeavors.
Peace <3
Monday, December 5, 2011
Defining Better
I was talking with my Aunt Gaby the other day and we were talking about different therapy techniques. I said I wanted to be better and I didn't really know what that meant. I took some time to kind of define what I mean by better, or rather smaller goals to reach what better means for me.
I know it's not going to be easy and, for the most part, it's probably going to be pretty painful and rough to deal with. I'm a little nervous going down some of these roads but I feel like it's something that has to be done.
- less depressed days
- eliminate suicidal days
- body acceptance/confidence/comfortable in my own skin
- positive thinking
- more energy/motivated
- eliminate binge eating
I know it's not going to be easy and, for the most part, it's probably going to be pretty painful and rough to deal with. I'm a little nervous going down some of these roads but I feel like it's something that has to be done.
Friday, December 2, 2011
Back Again and Study Abroad
So I've decided to create another one of these blogs. I've had several in the past and once I got to college, I deleted all of them because they seemed to be causing unnecessary drama around me. This blog is going to be different though. I'm going to use it as a tool for therapy as well as my study abroad life for the Spring 2012 semester.
Yes, it is official that I will be going to Florence, Italy to study abroad next semester. It's a whole semester so that's about 4 months. I'm really excited and really nervous and scared all at the same time. It's the first time I will be leaving the country and really being on my own in another country. Yes, there's a few other girls who are going to the same place as I am but I wont be with my family or friends. I'm going to miss birthdays and holidays. I think that's what really gets me the most. I know both holidays and birthdays come around again but Sid is going to be 10, Bobo is going to be 21, and Jessica is going to be 24! I know that this oppourtunity is probably one the best things for me to do but I can't help feeling like I'll be missing out. I'm sure I'll be ok once I'm actually in Florence for at least a few weeks to a month.
There's still a few pieces of paperwork I have to get submitted but all the really REALLY important things are done and taken care of, except for the student visa which gets done December 28th.
Ciao <3
Yes, it is official that I will be going to Florence, Italy to study abroad next semester. It's a whole semester so that's about 4 months. I'm really excited and really nervous and scared all at the same time. It's the first time I will be leaving the country and really being on my own in another country. Yes, there's a few other girls who are going to the same place as I am but I wont be with my family or friends. I'm going to miss birthdays and holidays. I think that's what really gets me the most. I know both holidays and birthdays come around again but Sid is going to be 10, Bobo is going to be 21, and Jessica is going to be 24! I know that this oppourtunity is probably one the best things for me to do but I can't help feeling like I'll be missing out. I'm sure I'll be ok once I'm actually in Florence for at least a few weeks to a month.
There's still a few pieces of paperwork I have to get submitted but all the really REALLY important things are done and taken care of, except for the student visa which gets done December 28th.
Ciao <3
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