So, I've been living in Firenze for about 3 months now and I have about one month left here! I still can't believe it's already mid March and how little time there is left before I go home! It's a little of a surreal feeling but I'm excited to go home and a little sad because I'll miss Italy but I miss home a lot more haha!
There really wasn't a whole lot going on this week or weekend. We came back from spring break last Sunday and it's basically just getting back into the swing of things from break. I did finish my sculpture for my sculpture class. I would describe it but describing it might get a bit confusing. I have to go to the studio to take pictures of it anyway. I have no idea how I'm going to get it home or even if I will bring it home. It's pretty heavy and it's rather big. I'm struggling with my anthropology paper though. Religion is a touchy subject no matter where you are but here in Italy, it's almost like it's taboo to talk about why people follow one faith over another and so on. My professor told me I should go to mass and synagogue. I really don't want to but if I can get people to talk about religion as I need to, then of course I will do it. I hate writing papers!
My dad is officially opening his deli. It should be up and running by the time I get home from Italy and then I'll be working for him full time. I do have to talk to him about that though. I have a guaranteed job at Lane Bryant when I come home. I know it will be super part time because it's summer time but I need to know if I need to quit working there this summer or if I can do both. I mean I don't really mind either way but I just need to know so that I can call them and give them the heads up.
My boyfriend is struggling with life pretty much. He's struggling with me being so far away, with school, with his parents, and with what he wants his career to be. He does have two other plans but he hasn't quite told his parent yet. Well, actually, he hasn't told them anything about them except that he doesn't want to go into research anymore. I did talk to him about our relationship though. We kind of got a little lost and we weren't communicating very well so we're fixing that right now. That mainly has to do with the distance and that I don't have the privacy to really talk to him but I'm saying fuck it and I'll say what I need to say. We can't keep it the way it has been since I've been here. Obviously at home it's different because I can have my privacy and talk to him but here you really can't and we both have to change the way we talk to each other, at least for the next month until I get home again. It's close to the end of my time here anyway so I feel like we're going to be just fine. If we can manage this long, I think that we're going to be just fine.
I still struggle with my own demons on a daily basis and some days are better than others but more recently, they've been worse. Mostly with body image and depression. I have to call my insurance company and see if they even cover mental health, then I have to see what therapists in my area they will cover and so on. It's such a pain in the ass but I know it really has helped me. I have considered meds though. Pretty much, I'm going to give active therapy a year and if I don't feel like just therapy is working, then I have to start talking about meds and therapy together. I don't necessarily want to, but if it'll improve my conditions then I have to do it. My boyfriend has been very supportive of me and he tries his best to help me in the little ways he can. I know he doesn't fully understand and part of that is my own fault because I haven't completely told him and most of the time it's hard to. Hell, most of my friends at home have no idea of my diagnosis and what's really going on. That's not something I have shared with them yet. If I can just power through the rest of my time here (and still have fun of course) then I think I can manage. I've done it this long, so what's another month right?
"Every time I think of you, I become a silly girl in my head
Part of me hates it, part of me loves it
But I can't decide"
A doppo!
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