Well, here we are again contemplating a new job. This job is very mentally draining. Physically I am strong enough to do this job but I need a mental break soon or I am going to lose my mind. When my team director comes back I am going to ask for medical leave for like a week or two just to get my head on track so I can do my job properly. I have been putting applications out there again so hopefully something better will come my way.
My love life is a mess as always. This man Dave is absolutely fantastic but I fucked it up as per usual. We're trying to work on being friends and see what happens from there but my heart really is set on him. I talk to him and text him frequently enough and this past weekend I saw him for a small birthday party thing cause he turned 21 on May 28th. He really is a great man and I fucked it up. Maybe I should just be done dating altogether.
I wish there was a better way to get people out of my head. All the negative and beratement things that have been said/done to me over the years gets stuck in my head and, in turn, I believe it and then fuck things up like relationships. It's hard to keep those things away and out of my head. My dad always says don't let people live rent free in your head. I'm trying, it's just not easy for me.
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